I'd rather pay for childcare than ask the grandparents - they can't be trusted

For many parents, having a grandparent or two on hand to help with school pick-ups, unexpected late nights at work or just a couple of hours’ respite from their kids can be a life-saver – and the chance to save on nursery fees can be very helpful too.

But it is easy for grandparents who love seeing their grandchildren to feel that they are being taken advantage of, and asked to take on far more than is fair. Suddenly retirement is filled with a full-time job, but one that comes without financial recompense.

So, should grandparents who help out with childcare be paid? Grandmother and comedy writer Jan Etherington and parent Rhiannon Picton-James give their perspectives.

Should grandparents get paid? Well, if you expect to be paid, you can expect to be treated like staff – and that’s a weird dynamic to introduce within the family.

That’s why the only people you should pay to look after your children are strangers. People who you can say “actually no, she can’t have sweets” to, without a painful and overwrought conversation.I’d rather pay someone money than have to deal with my parenting being questioned over every decision.