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But this can get expensiveLast updated 1 hour ago You can save this article by registering for free here. Or sign-in if you have an account.Regularly reviewing balances in relation to your budget, and reaching out to a professional for support before things feel urgent, will better preserve your long-term financial stability. Photo by Olivier Le Moal/Getty ImagesReviews and recommendations are unbiased and products are independently selected. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page.There is no obvious sign or particular look that reveals when people are struggling with debt. They show up for family dinners, cover their share of holiday gifts and smile through conversations about mortgage rates and renovation plans. Behind it all, credit card balances keep climbing and the thought of telling anyone can feel worse than the debts themselves.Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada.Exclusive articles from Barbara Shecter, Joe O'Connor, Gabriel Friedman, and others.Daily content from Financial Times, the world's leading global business publication.Unlimited online access to read articles from Financial Post, National Post and 15 news sites across Canada with one account.National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.Daily puzzles, including the New York Times Crossword.Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada.Exclusive articles from Barbara Shecter, Joe O'Connor, Gabriel Friedman and others.Daily content from Financial Times, the world's leading global business publication.Unlimited online access to read articles from Financial Post, National Post and 15 news sites across Canada with one account.National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.Daily puzzles, including the New York Times Crossword.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one account.Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments.Enjoy additional articles per month.Get email updates from your favourite authors.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one accountShare your thoughts and join the conversation in the commentsEnjoy additional articles per monthGet email updates from your favourite authorsSign In or Create an AccountorKeeping debt a secret is common, but it can be costly. Shame often keeps people from reaching out for help, and the longer debt is left without a plan, the more difficult and expensive it becomes to resolve. Recognizing why secrecy feels necessary is often their first step toward addressing it.Get the latest headlines, breaking news and columns.By signing up you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc.A welcome email is on its way. If you don't see it, please check your junk folder.The next issue of Top Stories will soon be in your inbox.We encountered an issue signing you up. Please try againShame about debt runs deep because debt is not just a financial condition. For many people, it feels like a personal failing or character judgment because there is an expectation that capable adults do not end up in financial trouble. But no one is born knowing how to manage money, and paycheques do not come with instructions.Most debt problems have recognizable causes: a job loss, a relationship breakdown, illness or injury in the family or several years of using credit to make ends meet as the cost of living outpaced income. None of these reflect a moral failing. They are simply circumstances people face which need to be addressed.When people start to see their debt as a reflection of their self-worth, facing it can feel overwhelming. Credit card statements are set aside. App notifications for bills are swiped away. Calls from creditors may be avoided. Options that could genuinely help often remain unexplored because asking for help can feel so uncomfortable. In the meantime, the debt grows and the way forward can seem less and less clear.Keeping debt secret within a relationship creates risks well beyond the debt itself. Shared goals such as saving for a renovation, increasing investment contributions or qualifying for a new mortgage depend on an accurate picture of what a household owes. When one person is quietly managing a maxed-out credit card or a growing balance, those plans are built on incomplete information.The consequences can surface in unexpected ways. Debt may come to light during a mortgage renewal, when a credit check reveals information a partner did not know, or when a lender raises concerns about a higher-than-expected credit utilization ratio. What is uncovered in that moment is not only a financial strain, but often a sense of hurt and shaken trust as well.A similar pattern can unfold with family and friends when joint debt remains hidden. Turning down invitations, missing a family trip or sidestepping conversations about contributing to wedding expenses can slowly create distance. Often, loved ones sense that something is weighing on a couple long before they know what it might be.Whatever the circumstances, keeping debt hidden often means waiting longer to deal with it, and that delay can become extremely costly. On a $30,000 credit card balance at 21 per cent interest, making only the minimum payments can keep someone in debt for decades and add tens of thousands of dollars in interest.For many people, the hardest part of dealing with debt is not the numbers themselves but the fear of how others might respond. Worry about disappointing a spouse, family member or friend can keep the conversation pushed aside for far too long. However, partners who discover debt through a conversation are far more likely to focus on finding a solution than those who discover it through a mortgage application or a collection notice.An initial conversation does not need to resolve everything at once. It only needs to open the door. A calm setting, honest numbers and a clear signal that the goal is to solve the problem together rather than assign blame goes a long way. Some couples find it useful to agree in advance to a single, time-limited conversation with a specific goal, such as listing every account with each balance, rather than trying to address everything at once.When the conversation feels impossible, a non-profit credit counsellor can provide a neutral starting point. A free, confidential appointment gives both people the same factual picture of the situation, which often makes the emotional conversation that follows much easier.One of the most common misconceptions about asking for debt help is that it only becomes relevant once you have hit rock bottom. In truth, reaching out early normally expands the range of available options and makes finding a resolution easier.For households with unsecured debt and income that covers essentials, a debt management program through a non-profit credit counselling agency is often the most practical starting point. It consolidates payments, reduces or eliminates interest charges and does not require taking on additional credit.Debt settlement is another option, negotiated directly with creditors, though it requires a lump sum of money up front and is not the right fit for every situation.Where the debt load is genuinely beyond what income can address, a consumer proposal or bankruptcy, both overseen by a Licensed Insolvency Trustee, provides a legally structured path to resolution.For those whose situation is serious but still manageable, a consolidation loan or mortgage refinance may reduce the cost of carrying the debt, provided the habits that created it are also addressed.Many people delay dealing with debt because it never quite feels urgent enough. There is always a plan to catch up next month, a bonus on the horizon or a balance transfer that might buy more time. The longer that pattern continues, the more drastic the consequences typically are.Regularly reviewing balances in relation to your budget and reaching out to a professional for support before things feel urgent will keep more options open and better preserve your long-term financial stability.Mary Castillo is a Saskatoon-based credit counsellor at Credit Counselling Society, a non-profit organization that has helped Canadians manage debt since 1996. Join the Conversation This website uses cookies to personalize your content (including ads), and allows us to analyze our traffic. Read more about cookies here. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.