It can be intimidating to make new friends. There's always the risk of rejection or saying the wrong thing.I've researched and reported about friendship for a decade. I also wrote a book about why friendships are struggling now, even though it's never been easier to stay in touch. When it comes to building enduring friendships, you want more than just someone who is interested in you. The most enduring friendships are the one where you can marvel at the world together. It's an exchange of equals where you talk about things you both value. Use any of these five questions to help you spark meaningful connections. 1. 'What have you been obsessed with lately?'This question is an invitation for enthusiasm. The best case scenario is that you realize you share an obsession with the other person and you have an immediate point of connection. You might respond with, "You're obsessed with finding the best croissant in Paris? I can send you some recommendations," or, "You've been trying to get your screen-time down? Me too. What tools are you using?" If you don't share an obsession, you can shift into "tell-me-more mode" to extend the interaction.You might ask something like, "You just got a new kitten? Can I see a picture?" or, "I don't know anything about growing tomatoes. How on earth do you keep them alive in an apartment?"2. 'What keeps you busy?'I much prefer this to asking where someone works. When you lead with work, it can sometimes come off as judgmental or competitive, even if you don't mean to.A question like "what keeps you busy" gets you closer to hearing about someone's hobbies and passions. It signals that you're sincerely interested in knowing what lights this person up. An exchange of surface credentials won't have the same impact. If the other person is between jobs or not in the mood to talk about work, this also sidesteps any potential awkwardness. 3. 'What have you been watching, reading or listening to that you recommend?'I love this question because it is a way to offer what marriage therapist John Gottman calls "bids" — or fundamental units of emotional connection. In his research, Gottman found that spouses who honor one another's bids are more likely to have longer and happier marriages. Bids can be simple questions or small attempts to connect, like: "Can you get me a glass of water?" or, "Do I need a haircut?"The same principle applies to building friendships. If someone asks, "Have you seen the new blockbuster?" and you simply say, "no, I haven't," that can stop the conversation cold. If a potential friend is engrossed with a particular podcast or TV show, take their bid and check it out. Now you have a natural reason to reconnect.4. 'Who or what makes you laugh the hardest?'This question is all about finding a shared sensibility. Humor is so subjective, so if you both find the same thing funny, it's a sign that you could really understand one another.Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar included humor as one of his seven pillars of friendship. The other six are sharing the same language, having a similar education, growing up in the same geographical area, having similar hobbies, having similar moral views and having the same musical taste. The more points of connection you have with someone, Dunbar finds, the more likely a friendship is to form and last. 5. 'What do you wish more people knew about you?'This question is introspective and gives the recipient a chance to be vulnerable, a building block of the best friendships. It's also low-pressure and open-ended, which can create some surprising and memorable conversations. I used this question when I was chatting recently with my car mechanic. I found out he had served in the army and was stationed in Germany in the 1960s. This led to an unexpected and lively discussion about German beer. Our friendship is off to a promising start!Anna Goldfarb is a friendship expert and author of "Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections," a Next Big Idea Club Must-Read. She writes the Substack Friendship Explained. She's been featured in the New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, WIRED, Oprah Daily, Goop and more. Follow her on Instagram. Want to get ahead at work? Then you need to learn how to make effective small talk. In CNBC's new online course, How To Talk To People At Work, expert instructors share practical strategies to help you use everyday conversations to gain visibility, build meaningful relationships and accelerate your career growth. Sign up today!