Regarding the possible candidates for the Labour leadership, I’ve travelled so far down the nihilistic road to nowhere that I’m afraid I judge politicians these days mostly in terms of how much entertainment they’re likely to provide rather than having one iota of belief they’ll make anything better.
Who’d be the most fun up against Kemi at PMQs? The obvious choice is Angela Rayner, but I fear that after her recent shenanigans and shamefacedness, as Glorious Leader she might be regrettably inclined to rein it in. Andy Burnham’s got that more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger look which may well indicate horrid notions about ‘healing’ our multi-fractured body politic. Ed Miliband couldn’t bitch his way out of a recyclable paper bag. So my money’s on Wes Streeting, who in the words of Madeline Grant, ‘gave Mrs Badenoch a hurt and sullen look – the sort one would imagine Joan Crawford shooting at an object on which she had stubbed her toe’ when she had a poke at him the other day.
You’ll rustle through Hansard like Russell Brand looking for his favourite bit in the Bible before you find Labour MPs coming out with such paradoxically sensible and seditious statements
I have high hopes that under the right circumstances, Streeting might be a Flouncer, given his old threat on Twitter to push ‘nasty people’ (actually, reasonable people like Jan Moir and Geert Wilders) under trains. We haven’t had a decent Labour Flouncer in the House for ages. For the Tories, Michael Heseltine is but a memory and at the moment Zia Yusuf of Reform is doing Flounce duties for all. Flouncers add immeasurably to the joy of political life, so I’m always inclined to feel warmly towards them.
