Something of an obsessive with tidiness, the interim coach has beaten all the club’s closest rivals in his short time in charge
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e’ll get on to the more pressing business of whether Michael Carrick deserves the full-time Manchester United job in a moment. There’s plenty to discuss: tactics and philosophy, character and comportment, the squad he inherited from Ruben Amorim and how United might strengthen it in the summer window. But first: I want you to imagine eating an entire dover sole with the bones left in, while under the gaze of the former England international Trevor Francis.
You’re in a fancy restaurant in Birmingham. You’re 18 years old, and have ordered the fish with potatoes on the assumption that it will essentially be a posh chippy supper. The sole arrives, the waiter asks whether you want it filleted, and because you don’t know what that means, you say no. Immediately you feel the painful prickles on your tongue, the unsatisfying gnash of skeletal marine matter between your teeth. Naturally, you don’t want to look rude or foolish in front of your new manager. So you put on a brave face, and keep chewing. Meanwhile, Trevor Francis keeps watching.
How might other great central midfielders of the era have handled this predicament? Frank Lampard would surely have come prepared, perhaps even unveiling his own filleting knife from a monogrammed sheath in his top pocket. Roy Keane would have eaten the bones noisily and with relish. Paul Scholes would simply have ordered a burger. But somehow I adore the image of Carrick quietly keeping it classy, sucking and crunching, his mouth full of bones, trying not to make a fuss. First as a player, and then as a coach, Carrick’s entire method has been based on exuding calm where none appears to exist. The gums are bleeding, the tackles are flying in midfield, and Liverpool have just erased a two-goal lead in the space of nine minutes. Grown men in replica sportswear are hurling abuse at the pitch. Some guy on a livestream is shouting things for money. So what do you do? You stick to the plan. You keep doing your job. You eat the bones you’ve been given.
