Last year, I retired early at 40. It was the most recent in a long line of financial milestones: I paid off $300,000 in debt, became a millionaire, and left my corporate job behind.

This looks like a success story on paper, but the last year hasn’t exactly gone to plan. There have been days that have been wonderful and days when I’ve melted down.

A year in, I’ve let go of the idea of a perfect retirement plan. There have been plenty of surprises, and they’ve taught me a lot about what is actually important to me.

In the first quarter of this year, I lost about $60,000. I’ve taught investing classes for years. Despite knowing that stock market dips happen, I was still surprised at how anxious I felt when it happened.

I’ve learned that it’s not as easy to just “set it and forget it” when you are relying on that money for current income, rather than investing for a distant future.