It’s a familiar experience in our modern age. You’re spending time with someone, perhaps enjoying a meal or drink together, when they pull out their phone to start scrolling or texting. Maybe even both of you start doing this. There’s a term that describes this phenomenon: “phubbing.”“Phubbing is a mash-up of ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing,’ and it’s when you’re ignoring the person who’s right in front of you in favor of whatever’s happening on your phone,” Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and host of the “Were You Raised by Wolves?” podcast, told HuffPost. “Who doesn’t love a good portmanteau?”The term phubbing first appeared in 2012 as part of a campaign from the Australian advertising agency McCann Melbourne to promote the Macquarie Dictionary. But, of course, the concept goes back even further. “People have been using their mobile devices as electronic security blankets since the devices appeared,” said Jodi R.R. Smith, the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting.While phubbing is common these days, it’s also generally quite rude. “Before everyone had access to the world in the palm of their hands, it would have been considered the height of bad manners to, in the midst of interacting with someone, to suddenly get up and walk away,” Smith said. “When you break your concentration from those at hand to what is in your hand, you have employed, intentionally or by accident, a very clear snub.”Spending time with other people is about giving them your attention for that period of socializing time.“When you give someone your full attention, eye contact, a nod and genuine engagement, they feel seen, heard and respected,” said Jackie Vernon-Thompson, the founder of From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette. “The moment your attention shifts to a screen, that connection is broken.”Presence is powerful. No matter how sneaky you think you are with your texting, people can tell when you’re being present or not. “When your phone is your focus, you’re saying to those around you that they aren’t as interesting or as important as what’s on your screen,” Leighton said. “And nobody likes to feel that way.”That doesn’t mean your phone is off-limits in a social setting. In the case of an actual emergency or other urgent situation, you can step away to deal with it. “If you genuinely need to check your phone, it’s ideal if you excuse yourself first,” Leighton said. “Most people will find that their phubbing isn’t actually all that urgent and can wait.”Olga Rolenko via Getty ImagesAre you guilty of "phubbing"? The unconscious behavior is more rude than you realize.In these nonpressing situations, consider why you might feel the need to start scrolling on your phone. “If you are a phubber, you need to take a moment to assess what is happening,” Smith advised. “Are you nervous? Insecure? Out of your comfort zone? Should you have graciously declined the invitation? As you peel back the layers of your social interactions, you will need to rethink your friendship circles and where you do actually want to spend your time.”Think about whether your phone use is a kind of nervous tic. Or maybe you’re dependent on the dopamine hit. Still, Smith noted, not all technology use is inherently bad and antisocial.“If it helps to forward the conversation, answer a question, find a location or name that actor, then it is perfectly acceptable,” she explained. “Our devices can and should help us better connect.”So what can you do about the other phubbers in your life? “For more distant acquaintances, you should reconsider if and how you spend time with them,” Smith said. “If they are glued to their phone, you could ― and probably should ― be spending your time elsewhere.”But with a close friend or family member, take the opportunity to have an honest conversation. “If you’re around people who tend to phub, the best approach is often the one that’s polite yet direct,” Leighton said. “Let’s not loudly sigh or offer vague, passive-aggressive comments. Most reasonable people will course-correct when they’re told plainly that their behavior isn’t landing.”When you address the habit, be mindful and avoid accusatory language like “you always ....” Vernon-Thompson also recommended not labeling their behavior as “rude.”“In many instances, individuals are simply unaware, as the behavior may never have been brought to their attention,” she said. “Extend grace and offer the benefit of the doubt.”Vernon-Thompson suggested starting with something along the lines of “I’ve noticed that when we’re in conversation, there are moments when your attention shifts to your phone. I completely understand how easy it is. I’m tempted at times as well. However, I truly value being present in our conversations.”You might then share that it makes you feel unheard when their attention shifts to their phone. Then ask if they might feel open to being more intentional about remaining present in these social situations.Emphasize mutual growth and understanding. In more extreme situations, you might even set clearer boundaries like phone-off time. “For serial offenders, we move into 2.0 strategies like leaving phones in a basket by the door or in another room during dinner,” Leighton said. Unfortunately, it might not be wise to address someone’s phubbing behavior in certain contexts. “If the ‘phubber’ is your boss or client, you’ll just have to tough it out,” Leighton said. “But try to still model good behavior in the hopes that it’ll catch on.”