Could I turn £10 into £1,000? I thought I could but was undone by the harsh reality and lost a little bit of my soul along the way
Welcome to How I Beat The Bookies: My Gambling Journey. Yes, my extreme methods can work for you. But only in the usual way. Which is to appear very briefly to work and then not to work at all.
First it is necessary to address the latest blow to English football’s otherwise watertight economy. People often talk about playing the world’s tiniest violin, a way of expressing sarcastic sympathy for bogus suffering, usually accompanied by a finger-and-thumb gesture that suggests, incorrectly, this is the size of the world’s tiniest violin.
In reality there are violins beyond violins. There are micro-violins. There are violins so tiny they can only be played by a highly skilled nano-grasshopper in a formal tail suit, mandibles whirring away at a shard of maple wood so small even other nano-grasshoppers with tiny violins will say, whoah, that’s a really tiny nano-grasshopper violin. Although as experienced nano-grasshopper violinists we also have to say its music is unusually sweet and full of pathos.
This is the tiny violin currently being played in response to complaints from Premier League clubs this week that they have been unable to find shirt-front sponsor deals equivalent to those offered by betting websites.
