Today, I am sleepy — or as my new viral “LinkedIn Speak” translator spun it, I am “honored to be prioritizing my well-being and practicing radical self-care by recharging my batteries,” because “in today’s fast-paced corporate landscape, recognizing the need for a strategic reset is a leadership superpower.”
Kagi, a Palo Alto, California-based search engine, has released a new “LinkedIn Speak” translating function that will instantly inject business buzzwords into your simple requests, making you sound like a corporate influencer selling your career story to impress people who will hire you. To use it, you simply type the phrase you want translated into Kagi’s translator tool and select “LinkedIn Speak” from the drop-down menu on the right.
In Kagi’s “LinkedIn Speak,” mundane life activities and alarming life consequences are transformed into corporate slop that makes everything a lesson. A large bowel movement becomes a “high-volume output optimization session,” while being arrested for fraud becomes a “unique opportunity to step back and reflect on my professional journey.” Kagi translates across more than 200 languages and also has a satirical “Corporate Jargon” option that produces results similar to “LinkedIn Speak.”
