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Hands up who had Jorginho v Chappell Roan on their bingo cards this weekend? Ah, who’s Chappell Roan, you ask? It’s a fair question if you’re a reader as long in the tooth as this tea-timely email. Pink Pony Club anyone? Ah. Well, Football Daily hasn’t had to do any research at all, nope, to tell you that she’s a flamboyant 28-year-old synth pop singer-songwriter from the USA USA USA who is so popular with the kids that she has eight gazillion followers on Instachat and fans including the former Chelsea and current Flamengo star’s stepdaughter. Those followers may number 7,999,997 after the weekend, mind, when Jorginho took to his social media disgrace of choice to lash out at Roan, claiming one of her security guards made his stepdaughter cry after speaking “in an extremely aggressive manner” to her and his wife at a São Paulo hotel.

Yep, the ball-hogging former Chelsea and Arsenal midfielder accused the singer of taking her fans for granted, saying that they had been staying in the same hotel and his stepdaughter – who just so happens to be Jude Law’s daughter – had seen Roan walking past when they were eating breakfast. He said his stepdaughter had not approached the singer but had just walked past Roan’s table, and smiled, before walking back to sit with her mum. “Without your fans, you would be nothing,” he barked in a manner at odds with his less combative style on the field, adding that as someone in the public eye he understood boundaries and when lines are crossed, but growled “what happened was not that”.