Hearts are threatening to upset the dominance of Celtic and Rangers in a break from the deadening European trend, which could be just what audiences need
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here’s a good advert right now on the rolling TV sports news channels. It starts with a rush of beeps and plinks and flashing symbols, generating instantly the flat, glazed, hungry quality of the online casino. A well-groomed middle-aged woman is shown sitting in an armchair in a suburban living room. It’s a jarring tonal shift, but we’re still in that same space, betting graphics dancing around her head.
The middle-aged woman turns to the camera and says: “The games are all different … It never gets boring,” eyes gleaming strangely, hands gripping the struts of her chair. Here is a person who is not just pleased, but uncontrollably energised by the prospect of WowBet.com’s 10bn mildly divergent AI-generated gambling patterns. At this point the words “Sandra Frottwangle, funeral director” appear on the screen.
By now it’s just an overload of feelings. The first thought is about transgression. Sandra Frottwangle’s job is to curate death. She spends her days managing the nobility of human flesh. She stands at the far edge of existence creating ritual and comfort, a timeless figure, the eternal footman, the director of last things. But she also gets bored easily and prefers stuff with flashing lights.
