Middle seats on planes are unpopular – so what can we learn from those who pick them? | Emma Beddington

For people who love the middle seat, the attractions are many, from a taste of humility to ethical entitlement to the armrests to ‘strangermaxxing’

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mbracing friction and inconvenience in our lives is a 2026 trend, but the New York Times has drawn my attention to individuals who are frictionmaxxing further than most of us might be able to fathom: travellers who choose the awkward, inconvenient middle seat on planes.

Airlines expect us to pay extra to choose our seat now, and refusing means becoming the filling in a stranger sandwich, but actively embracing that seems perverse. Some, I learned, claim middle seats offer the best of both worlds – you can see out of the window but enjoy a relatively easy escape – and you’re “ethically entitled to both arm rests” (good luck explaining that to your neighbours). Others treat it as an exercise in Zen humility. I suppose relinquishing main-character energy could make travel less painful? “Be grateful that you’re flying and that’s it,” as James Cashen, a middle seater, explained his philosophy on TikTok.

Cashen said his secret coping power was to strike up conversations. “Embrace the leadership role … You’re the glue,” he said. Responding to appalled commenters, Cashen clarified that he went with the flow rather than initiating. This made me wonder: when I fly with my husband (Europe’s most restless traveller), I’m a default middle-seater. Perhaps, buried in a book, with earplugs in, I’m missing out? Could I be forging friendships or at least having an interesting chat?