From finding love to becoming a better parent … Philippa Perry, Paul Dolan, Orna Guralnik and others reveal the books that will change your life
Chosen by Philippa Perry
Amir Levine’s Secure, to be published in April, is grounded in attachment theory, in which there are four main styles of bonding: anxious (craving closeness, but fearing rejection), avoidant (preferring independence over closeness), fearful avoidant (a mix of the two), and secure (comfortable with closeness and easy-going). Psychiatrist Amir Levine gives us a set of tools to help us feel more secure in all our relationships, not just romantic ones, but with colleagues, friends, family and even with ourselves. This is not a fanciful book but is grounded in research and neuroscience. I believe if you follow its principles, you will in time become more secure. But any psychological work is not like rubbing on cream – it wouldn’t be enough just to read the book. You’d have to do the work and then keep up the practice. Secure can help you know yourself better, and self‑awareness is the first step towards positive change, in this case becoming more open and relaxed in all your relationships. If you can’t wait until April, my runner-up is his first book, Attached, written with Rachel Heller.
