Lilac Hill warmup, Alex Carey’s glovework and Pat Cummins’ control of Joe Root are key parts of the story
It’s not a complete exaggeration to say that Australia won the 2025-26 Ashes on 15 October 2024. That was when Cricket Australia announced the schedule for the series: Perth first, Brisbane second. Starting the series on the bounciest, most Kryptonicious pitches in Australia – and the only major venues where England haven’t won a Test since 1986-87 – was a masterstroke, especially as Australia also had a day-night advantage at the Gabba. By the time England reached more batting-friendly climes, many of their batters already had scrambled brains.
We may never know the whole truth about whether England could have used the Waca in Perth ahead of the first Test. But even the most fervent disciple of Bazball would surely concede that warming up for an Ashes series in Australia with a two-day intrasquad game at Lilac Hill was like preparing your ears for a Slipknot gig – front row, no earplugs – by listening to Brian Eno’s Ambient 1: Music for Airports on loop.
By scoring at unprecedented speed, England have redefined Test batting in the Bazball years. In the first Test they redefined the alphabet of batting by turning the ABC of playing at Perth (don’t drive on the up, ever) into the FFS. England were effectively 116 for two in their second innings when Ollie Pope, Harry Brook and, most FFS-inducingly of all, Joe Root all played loose drives in the space of six deliveries. It was over in the space of an over: England lost three wickets for no runs and have not been in control of a game since.
