By many accounts, the latest season of Netflix’s “Love is Blind” has been one of the messiest yet. And as unserious as every couple has been, there’s one whose dynamic was particularly difficult to watch.
Yes, I’m talking about the super-uncomfortable storyline involving an Asian male contestant, Patrick Suzuki, and a white female contestant, Kacie McIntosh.
If you’re not up to speed, here’s a quick summary: Suzuki and McIntosh formed an emotional bond in the show’s “pods,” where contestants can talk to each other and form a connection but can’t see each other.
In Episode 5, Suzuki hesitantly reveals that he’s Asian, and McIntosh seems shaken but willing to continue the experience. When the two meet face-to-face for the first time, Kelcie calls off the engagement almost immediately, telling the show’s crew that she doesn’t believe her attraction toward Suzuki can grow. It’s painfully obvious that this is largely because of his race.
Part of the pain of witnessing this trainwreck is that I sympathize with Suzuki: When I was younger and dating, I treated my Asian identity as a handicap. I didn’t grow up around other people of Asian descent, and in high school, the only girls who liked me tended to be obsessed with anime. Besides that clear fetishizing, I wasn’t getting much action. When I came out as queer at 19, I found similar attitudes prevalent in the gay community and on apps, where it was normal for people to write “no Asians” on their Grindr profiles.
