I was fed up with discussing the weather, so I started to ask unexpected questions. The conversations that resulted were revelatory
F
or as long as I can remember, I have found small talk problematic. It was boring at best and stressful at worst. A colleague commenting on the weather, when I could see for myself that it was raining. The postman asking: “How are you today?” An impossibly broad question to answer briefly.
I worked in book publishing for years, where networking was essential. I could discuss authors, print runs or marketing budgets with ease. But asking how a buyer had travelled to the event? Or where a journalist had parked? I didn’t care! So why were these the conversations we were all having? Everyone else seemed at ease, while I felt on edge.
Every exchange felt like a performance, an evaluation I was sure I was failing. I didn’t understand the rules of engagement. For example, how long should small talk last? Should I answer honestly or with entertainment in mind? I worried that my responses were either flat or manic, my questions barked out like an interrogator.
