Don't ask 'How are you?' Here's how successful people get others to like and trust them: Psychology expert

The worst thing you can ask at the start of any interaction is: “How are you?”

You’re essentially telling the other person that the interaction will be like every other interaction. They’ll most likely respond, “My day’s been busy. Good but busy.” It’s boring and generates a social script.

I’ve spent the last 17 years studying human behavior and what sparks connections between strangers. I’ve learned that trust can catch fire or die out right away, all due to small signals in those first seconds of an interaction.

Here’s what to do if you really want to instantly gain trust.

Don’t ask what everyone else is asking, like “What’s up?” or “Been busy lately?” Try a question that’s still casual, but looking for excitement. This sets you up for a better interaction.