Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!
Purveyors of monster riffola such as Pantera, Mastodon and Anthrax ensured that most of the capacity crowd lucky enough to have tickets for the previous occasion Villa Park threw open its doors to outsiders left with their ears bleeding. But on Saturday, those fans unfortunate enough to sit through the first England men’s international staged at the ground since 2005 were left with metaphorical blood pouring from their eyes. While England got the job done against Andorra, Saturday’s match made for grim viewing and for all the home side’s efforts to prance, tippy-tap and triangle their way through the massed hordes of the Andorra defence, it did not go unnoticed that both of England’s goals came from the more Jurassic era approach of unceremoniously hoofing crosses into the opposition box. “The last one was more classic than the first one,” honked Thomas Tuchel of two goals that are unlikely to cross the radar of this year’s Puskás Award jury. “The last one was from the sideline, with the right foot to the second post and our No 10 arrived – Declan. I tell you the long throw-in is back, as well.”
Considering he was handed the England gig due in no small part to his obsessive attention to detail and tactical acumen, we can only wonder what the German’s employers in FA HQ will make of hearing their manager espouse the positives of getting the ball launched and putting it in the mixer, before enquiring if Liam Delap has inherited his old man’s remarkable ability to catapult a football farther and straighter with his hands than most players can kick it with their feet. “Once we arrive at the World Cup, all these things matter so we will also talk about long throw-ins, we will talk about long kicks from the goalkeeper and not only playing short,” Tuchel added. “We cannot put everything into four days of training but these things will matter. Let’s see. I need to reflect with my assistant coaches. All these patterns are back and crosses are back, as well.” Can we not knock it, as one of his predecessors famously asked, albeit during a qualification campaign so dismal it led to England missing out on the last World Cup held in the USA USA USA, and the late Graham Taylor losing his job.
