The ultimate TV challenge is back. But who will triumph, and whose showstopper will be the much-heralded disaster?
T
he Great British Bake Off is upon us once more, shipping a new fleet of enthusiastic bakers into the big tent for another round of slightly too ambitious bakes. In time, these bakers will become like a second family to their audience. But for now, it’s fair to say, we have no clue who any of them are.
So, in time-honoured tradition, here’s my predicted ranking of the 2025 Great British Bake Off intake. The usual qualifications apply: I am basing this solely on the imageless press release that Channel 4 sent out, plus in all the years I have been doing this I have never once been right about anything. You’re welcome!
Toby works for a fitness startup, and uses his contestant biography to reveal that he is three years into a home renovation project that was scheduled to last just six months. This leads me to believe that he initially applied to appear on Grand Designs, and is only on Bake Off due to a catastrophic clerical error.
