Taking a break from your loved ones might be painful – but it’s the only way to grow

In therapy, time apart is key to making the relationship work. The same applies to all the other people in our lives

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ou need a break. It is very important, from time to time, to take a break from your partner, from your work, from your children, from your exercise, from your screens, from alcohol and drugs and therapy and podcasts and crisps. We need time and space to rest; this is a crucial part of a better life. This much is obvious.

But we need to take breaks for less obvious reasons too.

As any patient of psychodynamic psychotherapy or psychoanalysis knows, come July, therapists are banging on about their August break. You tell them a dream about losing your child in the supermarket; they interpret this as you feeling like a lost child because of the break. You talk about feeling angry at a friend who cancelled plans; they suggest you are feeling angry and abandoned because of the break. It’s outrageous and ridiculous – and most of the time, in my experience, absolutely true.