Reform wants you to think London is a terrifying hellscape – here’s why they’re wrong

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Sure, the capital has its problems, but residents like Sophie Heawood are increasingly more bemused than scared at the recent hysterical headlines about daily life there. Here, she explains why her neighbours are more likely to be worried about their geraniums...

I

write this from under my bed, in the dark, heart pounding, fearing for my life. Yet another wave of violent crime is rampaging through the streets of London, and as the sinister mob closes in on terrified residents like myself, I… wake up from this mad fantasy and realise it’s just another sunny day in Hackney and everything’s fine. In fact, I’m thinking to myself, what a brilliant summer we’re having.