Was I Wrong to Tell My Dead Friend’s Son That His Father Sold Sperm to a Sperm Bank?

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SOCIAL Q’S

A reader wonders whether she overstepped by telling her old friend’s son about his father’s tactic for making extra cash during his med school days.

By Philip Galanes

A good friend died 20 years ago, leaving two sons (then 12 and 14). When my friend was in medical school, before he married, he earned money occasionally by selling sperm to a sperm bank. It wasn’t a big deal to him; he told me about it. When his older son was 20, he reached out to some of his father’s friends on Facebook, asking for old photos and anecdotes. I was happy to provide them, but I decided he was too young to hear about the sperm donations. Fast forward to this year: I emailed his son, now 34, after deciding he had a right to know about the donations. I wanted to warn him in case he was contacted by someone using a genetic testing service. But I never heard back from him. I sent two more emails: an apology if I overstepped and another with more photos. Still no response! Was I wrong to tell him?