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t’s some years since I sailed into a safe harbour and dropped anchor on the peaceful contentment of single life, tired of bobbing about like a lost ball in stormy romantic waters. So when a male friend messaged me last summer to say he had seen my photograph and profile on match.com I was baffled. “Impossible!” I replied. “I’m not on match.com. You know me, I’m in romantic retirement.”

“Well, take a look at this!” he said. Sure enough, a flattering photograph of me taken many years ago (posted online through my work and available by googling my name) headed a Match profile for “Clare5432, 56, 5ft 2in, in Hatfield”, a “young-at-heart woman who enjoys dog walking and the outdoors” who was looking for a

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